Bad Mom vs. Good Mom

Most people who have met my daughter and I and seen our interactions would categorize me as a good mom. You can tell my daughter is well cared for and loved, but disciplined enough that she's well behaved and well mannered. You can tell we've spent a lot of quality time together.

But some might say I'm a bad mom. Why is this? For starters, I dare to make time for myself. For years I put myself last and the results were horrific. Now, I'm finding a balance but sometimes, I do have to come first.

I've also gotten flack for the fact that I actually like Mondays. Why do I like Mondays? Well, for starters, it means that for well over 6 hours (if you count transit time), I am usually alone. This enables me to do housework uninterrupted, study (I'm in college), run errands during the day, or even just have some down time with a book or a DVD that's not appropriate to be played around my daughter. And getting up at 6:30am (even when I don't have to, stupid internal alarm clock!) doesn't make for a lot of time after she's in bed to watch a DVD. Or a television show. I'm shocked I made it through Sister Wives last night!

So some consider me a bad mom because I enjoy NOT having my daughter around. But that's not to say that I don't enjoy her when she is around. I think that's where people get confused. You see, just because you become a parent, doesn't mean that your entire life needs to revolve around your child or that your happiness depends upon THEIR happiness. To the contrary, yes you do have to make some adjustments when you decide to have children, but that doesn't mean you should stop living life. It doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to enjoy adult things. It doesn't mean that your entire life needs to be non-stop playgroups, school volunteering, after-school activity runnings to and from. It doesn't mean that your dinners need to be filled with Mac & Cheese and finding ways to "hide" vegetables in entrees in order for your children to eat them. To the contrary; my Husband and I continue to conduct our lives, with minimal adjustments, just as we did prior to having our daughter. Are we less spontaneous now? Of course! Unless it's a spontaneous activity that can include our child. It's difficult to get a babysitter last minute when you don't have a Grandma or Grandpa around ;)

So yes, I enjoy the time I have away from my daughter. I relish it. But I also enjoy my time with her. Like I said, it's a balancing act.