Many parents, especially moms, often feel some sort of guilt for doing things that take them and their time away from their children. Working mothers are the most common victim of this, particularly if they then take on other tasks, projects or just to try and take some time to do something fun/relaxing/adult just for themselves. But stay-at-home-parents are no less likely to experience this despite almost always being available for their child(ren).
Most often they call home multiple times to check in with the other parent or sitter, even if they're the Grandparents/Aunt/Uncle/Cousin/insert relative here. You see it all the time in the movies and television where the parents are out for a date night and (usually) Mom calls home at least once during the dinner at the romantic candlelit dinner. Or they go back a dozen times when leaving and douse their child(ren) with dozens upon dozens of hugs and kisses, the sheer guilt on their faces prominent.
Recently, I've been spending a lot of time away from my daughter. Previously, this might have caused me to be as I described above, but despite the hectic pace of what I've been doing away from her, I find it has given me air to breathe again. I might still call to check up on things once, but it's certainly not from guilt of not being there. On the contrary, I feel more alive and even better equipped to handle the constant role as caregiver by spending the time away from her.
Don't get me wrong, going back to work full-time is far from my list of things to do. I enjoy my time home with daughter, I like knowing that it is most definitely me that is raising her and not the nanny/Grandparent/daycare provider while I'm out working a full-time job. Been there, done that and I would prefer to wait until she's several years older before returning to that. But having time away from her has not let to guilt, but rather a renewal.
I do not fault working parents. Inflation has made it almost impossible for the majority of families to be able to rely on just one income. We were there once (shoot, we could STILL use the income I could provide by working) and I'm not someone who says that EVERY family should have at least one parent who stays home (I have known a stay-at-home-Dad or two). But I definitely think that more parents need to step back, take a breathe and take time away from their children. It's good for everyone. Your child learns that life isn't going to stand still or the world implode if you are not there with them 24/7. And you shouldn't feel guilty for taking any time away to do something for yourself.
This project might have taken me away from my daughter quite a bit over the last week (with one exception she's been with her Father instead, which does them some good ;-) ), but it's only temporary. Things like this do not necessarily last forever. And I refuse to feel guilty for the amount of time it's taken me away from her. On the contrary, I think it's done us both some good.
1 comment:
I think your point is well taken. I used to miss you while I was working and wished that I could have been a SAHM; but that was not the situation that we were in.
However, the stress of being a working/single mother was offset by the fun we had together.
I know that it was nice to have you back after you were with your father, even though I was not always happy with the people you were with.
But we survived and so will Zoe and Sean.
It gives them a chance to develop a relationship. Gives Sean an opportunity to get to know the independent little girl that is going to give him a run for his money.
So look forward to the next project and have fun.
Mama
Post a Comment