Me, Myself & I

Today, I had to take a really deep breath and do something I hardly ever do. Spend money on MYSELF. And I mean a LOT of money. I realize some of you may not realize what an ordeal this is for me, but others will "get" it. My own Husband even said on the phone this morning, "Make sure you spend more on you than you do on Darling Daughter." THAT is how difficult it is for me.

Usually, if I'm shopping, it's for DD. I hardly shop for DH because he's actually worse than I am about getting things he TRULY needs. He's gone literally years without buying a new shirt (I actually can't remember the last time he bought clothing that wasn't work-out or uniform related). I'm not nearly that bad, but it's usually 6-12 months between the times I get new clothes for myself, aside from a here and there splurge.

But only after I spend more on my child than on myself. It's seriously a fault.

Baby girl actually has plenty of clothes. I've always fretted "does she really have enough" yet she always has plenty. She's not nearly as hard on her clothes as other kids (at least not yet) and most of her stuff is happily handed down to my friend's daughter who's slightly younger (and thus shorter and smaller and fits the things once DD has outgrown them). I just can't seem to spend money on myself unless I sit there and justify it to myself over and over and over again.

This time, as hard as it's been, I've stopped myself. While I've justified it, I also know that it is MUCH needed. I have lost 30lbs in the last year (and am still losing, just not as much or as fast, but things do tend to slow down after a bit) and almost nothing I own fits. It's all either too large, or if it's over 3 years old, is still too small (and probably will always be too small, unfortunately that's just realistic). I also know that I was in need of a bit of a change/rejuvenation in the wardrobe department. Most of my stuff makes me look like a bum or is dated.

So while it was sort of difficult - I had to stop myself more than once from either going into a kids clothing store or putting something back that I definitely needed and was starting to talk myself out of - I managed to do it. It's not an entirely new wardrobe, but it's definitely a good running start. And while I did start to justify myself to DH, I stopped and realized that I am entitled - every now and again - to do something for myself.